he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
