If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
