my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
