About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
