I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
