he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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