Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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