If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
