I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
