That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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