Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
