I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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