..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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