brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
