And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
