dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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