I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
