butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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