you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
