ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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