Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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