capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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