garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
