if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
