I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
