So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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