I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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