No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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