id be glad to
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
