I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
