if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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