I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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