Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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