She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
