Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
