I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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