ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
