I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You can't just leave with hair like that
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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