the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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