one two three fourrrrnication!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
