Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
