I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
