dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
