i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it's like heaven, but drunker
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
