Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
