is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
