Where did you get a picture of my penis
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
