I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize