I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
