I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Two words: nipple clamps
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