thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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