Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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