he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize