New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
