You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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