I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
