Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
