What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
