We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
