so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
you never un-have a 4some
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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