i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
